


The Melancholy of Kitsu Chiri

by Shadow_Crystal_Mage



Category: Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei, Suzumiya Haruhi Series, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu | The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack, F/F, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-22
Updated: 2012-11-22
Packaged: 2017-11-19 06:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/570338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Crystal_Mage/pseuds/Shadow_Crystal_Mage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsunetsuki Matoi just wanted a normal life. Got to school, stalk her teacher, work on her photography, that sort of thing. So how the heck did she end up playing babysitter to an obsessive-compulsive goddess?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Melancholy of Kitsu Chiri

A/N: Because Matoi-chan needs more love, darn it! Sexy, sexy Matoi-chan…

* * *

The Melancholy of Kitsu Chiri

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 1: What Might Possibly Be The ONLY Chapter; Melancholy

Disclaimer: SZS belongs to Kumeta. All blame for this work belongs to Overmaster, who evilly got me hooked on SZS.

* * *

Matoi will admit to a small modicum of blame for what happened. She knew exactly what she had done to cause it.

"If you can't find a club you like," she'd told Chiri, "Why don't you make one?"

And Chiri had gotten that crazy look on her face, the one that usually preceded her going for the shovel she kept in the back of the room, or was about to impart her idea of order upon the world around her. She'd gone haring off to who knows where, slightly increasing the sanity index of the classroom. Granted, it was already far below zero, but still…!

Matoi thought nothing more of it, pining for her Nozomu-sensei as they had teachers besides him. When Negi-sensei's English class had ended for lunch, however, she was forcibly reminded when Chiri had shown up back in the classroom, grabbed her by the back of her hakama, and pulled her out of the room.

"This is the new club room!" Chiri announced, her smile disturbingly slashery as she pushed Matoi into a small room at the back of the activities building. There was no one there but Maria, lying on the floor with her feet in the air, pantyless-existence exposed for the world to see as she read a Japanese translation of the classical work _**Decadent Habits**_.

Matoi blinked, trying to get her bearings. "Isn't this the literature-club room?" she said, looking around. All there was, really, was a small low cubby along one wall, a table in thecenter, some folding chairs, and a shelf filled with books. She could make out such classics as "Unequally Rational and Emotional", "Uzumaki Harry", "Dangerous Tendencies", "Battle Fantasia", "Artifact Abuse", "Taken Day By Day", "Takamachi Nanoha of 2814", and other such lofty, erudite tomes.

"It's okay," Chiri declared. "All the other members graduated out except for Maria. Since there are two of us, we can claim this room for the greater good of the many! "

"What?" Matoi asked, still completely lost.

"Maria is okay with it!" Maria said, her feet moving like she was biking in the air. "Okay lang kay Maria! No probs, ate Chiri! "

Chiri nodded as if things couldn't be any other way. "It's settled then! You stay here. There's business I need to take care of…"

And from then on, Matoi was doomed.

And thus were the humble beginnings of the **S** upreme **O** rdered **S** ociety Brigade…

* * *

"Ah! W-what is this?" the blonde quavered.

Chiri put her hands one her hips, looking satisfied. "This is Kaede-san! She'll be the Brigade's Fetish Fuel Station Attendant and Ms Fanservice Girl. After all, we need to do things properly…"

* * *

Kafuka just showed up one day. Chiri deemed her acceptable to a surpremely ordered society and let her stay.

Matoi was still trying to figure out why _she_ was there, however. She was missing out on precious Itoshiki-sensei DEEP LOVE time!

* * *

"You see, _ate_ Matoi, Maria is actually an artificial human interface sent by the Data Overmage…"

* * *

"I must confess something to you, Tsunetsuki-san… I am actually… a time traveler!"

* * *

"AH! How is it possible someone so close to me doesn't realize I am an esper? It must be because… Tsunetsuki-san is a skeptical audience-representative character! Yes, that must be it!"

* * *

Alone, in a small, limited world. Just the two of them. No Kaede. No Maria. No Kafuka. Just her and Chiri and the words 'Sleeping Beauty' and 'Snow White' to keep the company as giant celestials proceed to destroy the world.

"Isn't it beautiful, Matoi-san?" Chiri cried, arms thrown out, staring in rapture at the destruction to come. "The world… the world is being ground down to make room for a better one! A more proper world!"

Matoi grabbed her sleeve. Chiri turned, startled.

Matoi put her hands on either side of the other girl's face, hoping she'd understood the clues right, beging Itoshiki-sensei's forgiveness for her infidelity. "I prefer the old world," she said, and kissed her.

Time seemed to slow…

Chiri pushed her back, face livid. "How dare you! This is most improper!"

Startled, Matoi stepped back.

Chiri's hands moved to either side of Matoi's face. "There needs to be symmetry," Chiri said. "A maiden's first kiss must be perfect., especially when she's experimenting. Now, do it again…"

Matoi blinked, and did so…

_Darkness…_

She opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling of her room. Smiling, she closed her eyes once more.

* * *

Chiri frowned, mind still slightly unbalanced– well, more so than usual– at the _most_ improper dream she'd had last night. She felt a presence behind her and turned. "Matoi-san? Not that it isn't good to see you wearing your proper school uniform, but what bought about the change? And… why do you have your hair perfectly parted in the center?"

_Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii….._

* * *

**\- To be continued...?**

* * *

A/N: Likely not. Unless someone sends me ideas for scenes…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


End file.
